I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize