He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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