My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
did you just send me my own nude
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
