Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
