Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
