Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Can you bring me the toilet please
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
