I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
