i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
