why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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