real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
