I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
