I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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