just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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