it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
