The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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