so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Randomize
