but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize