Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
