I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
