She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
