We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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