I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Just high enough for therapy.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
