she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
you're hired as official boob wrangler
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
