yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize