She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
