Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
