Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
