Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Randomize
