the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
It's rum buckets o'clock
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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