If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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