so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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