And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
