I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
