Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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