I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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