he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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