Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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