If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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