Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
