Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Randomize
