my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
