If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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