tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
