I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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