I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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