wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
