But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
