The beer is more important than you right now.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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