They should really pass out barf bags in church
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
As shirtless as possible
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
