why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
