It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
