STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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