that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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