so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
