I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I am one with the molecules
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
