It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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