i need an iv and a liver transplant
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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