I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
