P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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