Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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