found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
