It's Friday. Sex?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
