He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
