I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
True strength comes from lack of pants
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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