Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
