I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
